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Joel shows off his latest and greatest invention, but it takes a backseat to the events going on across the street.
Link Watch
Episode 4
Aired April 8, 2005
Places Phil's Living Room
Alternate Phil's House
Characters Joel
Alternate Phil
Alternate Joel
Episode Guide Here


{Opening Credits}

{Cut to Joel leaning down in the living room, as Phil walks on-screen.}

PHIL: Hey, have you been to the new mini-mall they built across the street? I just noticed it this morning.

JOEL: I didn't know there was stuff across the street. I always look out the window and see a gaping void.

PHIL: Well, it doesn't really make sense where we're located in general, but please, go to line one.

{Joel gets up and raises his hand.}

JOEL: Well, I've been busy working on my latest project. {Slight close-up on Joel.} Because I'm an inventor and that's what I do. {Larger close-up on Joel.} I've always done it. {Extreme close-up on Joel, as his eyes bug out.} ALWAYS!

{Cut to a close-up on Phil.}

PHIL: You say that like Websnark would even care.

{Cut to a close-up on Joel.}

JOEL: Well...prepare to care about this disasterpiece. The Über-ruler! {Joel holds up a ruler.} {He clicks the ruler and a metal portion extends out.} The rule...ber.

{Cut to Phil looking outside, pointing towards the screen, with his armless sleeve and Joel, still holding his ruler in the background.}

PHIL: Hey, there's houses over there now too.

JOEL: Stop talking, I'm being hilarious!

{Cut to Phil, wearing a green pullover over his typical attire, and Joel outside of their neighbors' house.}

PHIL: Hello, we noticed you just moved in and...{A slight zoom in as Phil's eyes bug out.} HOLY HALLOWEEN HARRY!

{Cut to a Phil look-alike (with brown hair, a tan shirt and a goatee) standing in a doorway.}

ALTERNATE PHIL: What do you assholes want? I'm busy shooting a TV show here.

{Cut back to Phil and Joel.}

PHIL: You're on TV?

{Cut back to the Phil look-alike.}

ALTERNATE PHIL: Yeah. You know what one is? It's that thing you throw your empty beer bottles at. Yeah, you suck.

{Cut back to Phil and Joel.}

PHIL: Uh...{Phil points at himself.} I'm Phil and... {Phil points toward his look-alike.} YOU'RE Phil.

{Cut back to Phil's doppelganger, with a surprised look on his face.}

ALTERNATE PHIL: No friggin' way! Seriously? {Cut to a side-view of the doorway, as the look-alike leans over Phil.} WHO CARES?!

{Cut back to Joel and Phil, who grabs his Friend from off-screen.}

PHIL: Uh...this guy does!

TUCK: This is the first time two versions of Phil have appeared on screen. I should make a website about this information.

PHIL: That would be the biggest waste of time ever.

TUCK: Alright, then I'll make a cartoon for Keentoons.

{Phil gets a shocked look on his face and pushes his friend off-screen.}

PHIL: Do the website! Do the website!

{Phil's Friend leans back on-screen, with an angry look on his face.}

TUCK: You're not the boss of me! {Phil's Friend leans back off-screen, but soon leans back on-screen.} And you're not so big.

{Cut back to Phil's now angry look-alike.}

ALTERNATE PHIL: So, are you ladies done here or what?

{Cut to a new view on Joel and Phil.}

JOEL: We ladies are not done here, good man! {Joel moves towards the look-alike.} I need to talk to the Misses about a potential deal of a lifetime.

{Joel holds up his ruler and clicks it.}

PHIL: You just like the sound that thing makes.

JOEL: It is a cool sound.

{Joel clicks the ruler once again. Cut to the inside of the doppelgangers' house, which looks like Phil's Living Room. A frail-looking Joellish figure, stands in front of the couch, wearing a long-sleeved shirt and a beanie cap over his long blond hair.}

ALTERNATE JOEL: I don't like to talk to people.

{Joel walks on-screen, holding his ruler.}

JOEL: Have you considered...RULING them out?

{Joel clicks his ruler and laughes at his joke.}

ALTERNATE JOEL: How sharp is that ruler?

JOEL: Well I don't want to...RULE OUT the competition.

{Joel clicks his ruler again. Cut to a close-up on Joel and Phil.}

PHIL: You just used that joke.

JOEL: I use your mom.

PHIL: That's ridiculous. I hope that joke doesn't come back to haunt me someday.

{Cut to Phil's look-alike, who is perplexed by the situation.}

ALTERNATE PHIL: Wow, guys. You really have chemistry. You'd be perfect for TV!

{Cut to Joel and Phil.}

JOEL: Awesome!

{Cut back to Phil's look-alike, now with an angry look on his face...and his goatee.}

ALTERNATE PHIL: So get your own show and get out!

{Cut to Phil and Joel standing outside their house.}

PHIL: I don't think I'm gonna cross the street again. Wanna go to the mini-mart over here? {Phil raises his arm.} They have a Qwik-Stop.

JOEL: Qwik-Stop sucks!

{End Credits.}

Fun Facts Edit


  • While Episodes 3 and 5 were both made in December 2003, this was posted in April 2005 (between Fickle Nickel and Last Exit to Charismaville, to fill in what seemed to be a gap in the series canon. This explains why the flash file for this episode is bs4.swf (as in later episodes) rather than bonusstage4 (as in early Season 1 episodes).
  • In the words of Phil's Friend, this is the first time two versions of Phil have appeared on screen.
  • Technically this is the first appearence of Tuck because this takes place before The NYE. Tuck's voice is high and squeaky in this episode although it technically takes place before The NYE, where it is still vaguely male and non-loser sounding.
  • When Alternate Phil says "So get your own show and get out!" you'll notice an angry face on his beard. This is an alternate version of Donald.


  • Joel is wearing his red Christmas hat during the theme of v.2, even though it doesn't normally show up until episode 5.
  • Treelor and a Rusty Duck Clan member also show up in the group shot in the theme song despite not showing up until episode 5.

Real World ReferencesEdit

  • "Holy Halloween Harry!" This is a reference to "Halloween Harry," an old DOS side-scroller by Interactive Binary Illusions and SubZero Software. Its name was later changed to "Alien Carnage."
  • "This is the first time two versions of Phil have appeared on screen. Time to make a website about this information." This is another jab at the the old BSWiki. To be more precise, it's a jab at the trivia sections that often list "firsts", such as the first appearance of a certain character.
  • "You're not the boss of me! And you're not so big."
    • These are lyrics from the Malcolm in the Middle theme song, "Boss of Me" by They Might be Giants.
  • "Well...prepare to care about this disasterpiece." This may be a reference to the song Disasterpiece and/or the DVD Disasterpieces by the band Slipknot.

Fast ForwardEdit

  • If this episode seems ahead of its time, that is because it is. While this is technically a first season episode, it was created between Seasons 5 and 6 (see "Trivia" for more details). Because of this, the following references seem to retroactively predict the future of Bonus Stage:
    • Phil's Friend's allusion to the Wiki, which did not yet exist in the first season.
    • Phil's Friend's reference to Keentoons: During the (real) first season, Bonus Stage was still hosted by Animated Diversions. Bonus Stage moved to Keentoons in Season 3.
    • Phil's statement that he hopes Joel's joke "I use your mom" would not come back to haunt him foreshadows Joel's relationship with Jessica, who would not have appeared until Season 4.
    • The angry face on Alternate Phil's goatee suggests that his goatee is an Alternate Donald, who did not appear until the fifth season.
  • Phil broke his vow of not crossing the street in Ryaconning.

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